101 Ways to get kicked out of the Black Order
by The Moyashi Beansprout Midget
Summary: There are plenty of stupid, silly things that could get you kicked out of the Order. Too bad that all of the characters we know and love are going to do these things! How much chaos can a few people do to an international organization like the Order? Let's find out! T Cause of Kanda (not like that's bad...)
1. Chapter 1

**More random fanfic ideas that need to be released into the crazy internet world! I've seen a few of these floating around here, so its about time DGM got one!**

**If you have any ideas, right them in a review! **

**Disclaimer: Katsura Hoshino's. Not mine.**

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_1. _**_I will not call out 'Group Hug' during the middle of a meal._**

The Finders were just plain old confused, Kanda got pissed off, Allen was devouring some mitarashi dango, and Komui stood in front of Lenalee like a barrier. Krory, of course, was happy to give his friend Lavi a hug.

And...

**_2. I will not try to enforce it._**

Then, Lavi was hit in the head by a flying, kicking panda wielding the sharpest claws ever seen on the black-and-white bears. He was stuck in the infirmary for a month afterwards.

**_3. I will not run towards a pack of Akuma screaming 'LEEEERRROOY JENKINS!'_**

Lavi, Lenalee, and Krory were still figuring out their strategy when Allen ran off. They then proceeded to let the poor gray man suffer on his own instead of helping against the four level twos.

Allen no longer charges into battles with no strategy.

_**4. I will not question Kanda's reason behind his long hair.**_

And after Allen and Lavi were caught running around Headquarters shouting 'Kanda's gay,' by the blue-haired samurai, no one ever would.

And...

**_5. I will not take Kanda's hairties to prove the point._**

No one saw Lavi for two weeks after that.

**_6. I will not let Komui read 'The Fault in Our Stars'._**

He cried so much that he ran out of tears, waited till his body replenished his water supply, and cried again, with Lenalee's sleeve being used as Komui's wipe.

"Brother, its only a paperback book..."

"BUT THEY WERE PERFECT TOGETHER! AUGUSTUS AND HAZEL FOREVER!"

Komui's tears ended up flooding his office, not only ruing the papers that were now soaked but actually causing some water damage.

**_7. I will not let Komui read any John Green book._**

When started Komui to read 'Searching for Alaska', Reever made sure ahead of time his office was full of Kleenexes, Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, and lots of pictures of Lenalee. The Australian then proceeded to barricade the Chief's office with plenty of sandbags inside and out, not wanting a repeat of the previous occasion.

**_8. I will not force the exorcists to play Five Nights at Freddy's._**

Allen screamed when Freddy scared him after he failed the first night, Lavi and Kanda made it halfway through the second night after the ginger let himself shriek from Foxy. Kanda proceeded to have very demented nightmares for a week afterward about Bonnie. Lenalee made it to the third night in a row, and quit from boredom.

**_9. I will not make the exorcists play I am Bread._**

The computer screen was sliced in two after Kanda played it. Luckily, everyone except for Allen took a crack at the game before its demise.

The Order now knows to allow everyone play first before Kanda does.

The game would never become fully developed until its blueprints were discovered in the 21st Century.

**_10. I will not assign codenames to the exorcists._**

Komui just insisted on everyone having codenames. He thought 'it would be really cool, like MI6!'

Lavi was 'Pirate Ginger with a large Hammer'.

Lenalee was 'Steel Wings'.

Allen was 'White Clown.'

Kanda was 'Gay Samurai'.

The codenames were then removed when Kanda proceeded to stab the mahogany coffee table in Komui's office with Mugen.

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**Yea, or Ney?**

**If you have suggestions, put them in a review below!**


	2. Chapter 2 (IMPORTANT NOTE AS WELL!)

**Here's 11 through 21!**

**Includes suggestions by Yuki Walker ~ the Kitsune and demon-soul-7!**

_And to the very angry Guest...I'm sorry I offended you in any way. I will not make any sort of things like what I did to Kanda in the future of this story. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, in any way, at all. I can see where your anger builds from, and I don't blame you for being angry. I really, truly, am sorry. You may not forgive me, but I promise to make sure to change this story and not make it jokes like that. I showed this to a couple of friends, who liked it, and then I published it without thinking about any possible negative backlash. I should have thought about that possibility. I really hope we can move past this, but if you decide not to continue and read the story, I will not blame you._

_My most sincerest apologies_

_Beansprout Midget_

**If you have a suggestion/s, put them in a review below!**

**Disclaimer: Katsura Hoshino's. Not mine. I also don't own Guardians of the Galaxy, Star Wars, Narnia, Charlie the Unicorn.**

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**_11. I will not assign the Noah Family codenames either._**

The Earl wanted to keep the identities of the Noahs at bay while they were out and about. So, he had Tyki write out the list. This is what Tyki came up with:

Road: Spoiled Fangirl

Himself: I'm sexy and I know it.

Jasdevi: Target Practice

Lulubell: That's not my name.

Skinn: I am Groot.

The Earl: First is the worst.

The Millennium Earl quickly shut down the idea after Tyki's list was released.

**_12. I will not let the exorcists have a tea party with Road._**

When the Noah of Dreams found out about this, she went on such a rampage that over a quarter of the Earth's population had nightmares about a young girl erupting over a tea party.

**_13. I will not let Road and all of the Allen fangirls meet up._**

When Road decided to rumage around the Ark, she found a door which led her to the 21st Century. Once there, she quickly made a bunch of new friends, all who had the same interest...

"Hey, look at this!"

"What is it?"

"He's shirtless in this picture!"

"Wow..."

"Here's a few of some chibis!"

"Ah! KAWAII!"

"He's mine!"

"WHAT? NO! ALLEN'S MINE!"

"Excuse me, he's in MY universe! He's mine!"

"So? I've liked him more than anyone here!"

"Sorry..but I KISSED him..."

"Oh..wow..."

"Please tell us, is he like he is in the manga?"

**_14. I will not let Allen eat meals before the rest of the Order._**

When the snow-haired exorcist arrived at the kitchen for dinner, and he found out he was first in line, he almost ran Jerry out of food. The rest of the Order had to suffer with only milk, cheese, and bread for a week later. Kanda wasn't very happy that he couldn't eat his soba.

**_15. The Ark is not the entrance to Narnia._**

Krory was so convinced that it was that he went searching for it. Eventually, Lavi and Lenalee were called in to find the poor exorcist and bring him back to headquarters to check on his condition.

As it turns out, Krory instead found a door that led him to 'Candy Mountain'. He got so much sugar in his body that when his rescue crew went to search for him, they found him knocked out in the middle of the street

**_16. I will not forget Allen Walker on my trip to Vegas._**

Allen won two and a half million dollars on the FIRST NIGHT.

ON THE SLOT MACHINES.

The boy quickly learned that his luck only shoned through when it came to gambling.

_**17. I will not sing 'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!' to Link.**_

Allen just got a slap on the back of his head, and was sent back to work finishing his paperwork. However, Two Dots' reaction and rage were something that the gray man would cherish for a long time.

**_18. I will not call Rouvelier 'Hitler', no matter how tempting._**

Luckily, the special investigator was out of ear-shot when Lenalee was discussing him to Miranda.

**_19. I will not go into Komui's experiment rooms._**

Under the guidance of Lenalee and with only the light of a few candles, the quartet (somehow, they got Kanda to come along) managed to find some of the chief's forgotten experiments. One was labeled 'Kit-Kat', and another was labeled 'Bun-Bun', both liquids in single viles. To save for later, Allen swiped the three to look at later, since they were almost caught snooping around.

Later, once back in his room, Allen slowly figured out what the labels meant. So, he shoved them under his bed, and went to sleep.

Knowing Komui, the viles were probably some sort experiment to try and create a human-animal hybrid. 'Kit-Kat' was probably something with cats, and 'Bun-Bun' was for a bunny...a rabbit.

An usagi...Lavi...

Could it be...that these were create with each exorcist in mind?

Shaking that thought from his head, Allen just continued to sleep, his dreams filled with a red-furred rabbit and Lavi walking around with bunny ears poking out of the top of his head.

_**20. I will not let the Science Division create Lightsabers.**_

They were called the 'pride and joy' of the division, since they had spent so much time and effort into creating the first 'saber'. Originally, the purpose of these new weapons was as some sort of extra weapon the Finders could carry with them, as well as the exorcists.

However, when the role of trying out the lightsabers was given to Lavi and Allen, it quickly became the worst decision at the time. So many things were destroyed...it must've cost a million dollars to get everything fixed and replaced.

In fact, most of Allen's money from Vegas was put to use fixing the place. He wasn't very happy about that.

So, in an attempt to keep the hype of the lightsabers at bay, the Science Division also built a stadium made for lightsaber-fighting.

It quickly became the new hobby of the Black Order.

**_21. I will not let them hold a tournament._**

With all of the hype following the lightsabers, Johnny, Tapp, and No. 65 created a tournament specially designed for lightsaber-fights. Lots of Finders especially signed up, outnumbering the exorcists by a whopping 2,364 to 8.

Who won?

It was tie between Krory and a finder named James. They destroyed the stadium before a winner was announced.

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**_Suggestions? Review!_**

**_If you ever feel offended by anything, please tell me and I will try to avoid those topics. _**


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